Pros and Cons of Equal, Shared and Single Parenting

There has been much debate and media discussion recently about whether Father’s should have more rights when it comes to bringing up children after a divorce or separation from their children’s Mother. It now looks as though family law could change to give Fathers more rights, though not to the extent that some have campaigned for. There are a number of ways children can be bought up after the separation of their parents, including equal parenting, shared parenting and single parenting. Depending on the circumstances of a family, there can be pros and cons to each of these.

Equal Parenting

Equal parenting is children living with each parent fifty percent of the time. This may be with each parent half a week each or with parent’s alternate weeks. In theory this seems the most ‘fair’ as far as the parents are concerned; they both get to spend an equal amount of time with their children. This can be good for children, with both parents having an influence on them. They get to see each parent regularly, and for a good amount of time, so there isn’t one parent who they rarely see. There are potential negatives on children, though. There can be a lack of routine, with children always on the move moving from one home to another and having two homes can make them feel as though they don’t really belong anywhere. Equal parenting can be a good solution to some families but can pose problems to others. It can only work if both parents live in the same area. They need to be able to get to school from either home and it isn’t ideal if they need to travel extensively twice a week.

Shared Parenting

Shared parenting is where both parents see their children on a regular basis, but time is not split fifty-fifty. This is the most common parenting arrangement after a divorce or separation. With a shared parenting arrangement, children live primarily with one parent but see the other regularly, for example every weekend or every other weekend. This can be suitable because children have an on-going relationship with both parents, meaning they have a male and female role model to look up to. It also means they have a routine and primary home. This can give them more of a sense of belonging that with equal parenting. The negative can be that they may see one parent as the ‘main parent’, with the other parent feeling not as involved as they would like to be.

Single Parenting

Many talk of the downside of single parenting, stating that it isn’t good for children. Statistics are often quoted stating that being bought up by a single parent means they are more likely to do poorly at school or turn to crime. A negative of single parenting can be that it results in a lack of either a male or female role model. Most would agree that in an ideal situation equal or shared parenting is a better option, but it does depend on the circumstances. Sometimes it isn’t suitable and there are times where one parent is not deemed to be a fit parent.

Deciding on the best parent arrangements post-separation can be very complicated. There are a number of issues to consider, with the best interests of children the most important. The best solution varies depending on the circumstances of individual children and their parents.

Andrew Marshall ©