Christmas is the time to be jolly! That’s right, isn’t it? Well, that isn’t always the case for everyone. While for many of us it is the time of year that we get together with our families, surrounded by exited children and enjoying each other’s company, for some it is not such as happy time. Contrary to the popular notion of Christmas joy, the festive period is when many couples begin to think about separating.
In many cases Christmas seems to be a catalyst for divorce. Generally, divorce solicitors report more enquiries regarding separations in January than at any other time of the year, with many of these eventually leading to a permanent separation. So, what are the reasons that so many begin to consider divorce over Christmas or soon after.
One theory is that some families spend “too much time together” at this time of year. That isn’t to say they spend more time together than other families but that either they are not used to being together so much, or there are underlying problems meaning spending time together highlights these issues. Some people are very busy throughout the year and don’t spend too much time together as a family, or at least not continuously. Suddenly at Christmas they are spending all of their time together, which can be difficult. Things that may have been stewing under the surface can suddenly boil over and arguments can begin. Things that may not be particularly noticeable when they aren’t spending a large amount of time together become major points of conflict. This can lead some to realise that their relationship isn’t really working. If couples are doing more together, and making more decisions together, it can lead to more disagreements.
The thought of a new year and a new beginning is something that encourages people to think about the future. For those who don’t believe their marriage is all that they hoped this can lead them to do something about it. This can go either way. They might decide to really try to work on their marriage to resolve any problems, or to move on and seek a divorce. There is also the new hope of a new year, something that doesn’t always prove to be a reality. With a new year beginning some become more determined that their marriage will work. However, just because the calendar changes from one year to the next does not mean that a struggling marriage turns into a blissful one. The realisation of this can be difficult, and can therefore lead to thoughts of divorce.
Some hope Christmas will change the fortunes of their marriage. Couples may know things are not going well but hope that Christmas will help them; that a week or two off work and spending time together will improve their relationship. While this can be true in some cases, if often isn’t. Deep-rooted problems are not resolved by spending a little time together. Sometimes Christmas is the last hope and when this doesn’t work they realise that ending the relationship is for the best.
Ultimately Christmas doesn’t cause divorce. A happy couple don’t suddenly become unhappy over the Christmas period. It can, though, put the spotlight on any issues that are leading to an unsuccessful marriage and make people realise they are in a relationship doomed to failure.
Andrew Marshall ©
For more information on divorce and family law visit Divorce Solicitors London or Family Solicitors London.
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