When parent’s divorce, the relationship each parent has with their children can have a significant influence on their lives. This article looks at the importance and influence of a child’s relationship with his/her Father if he no longer lives in the family home.
In the UK around 9 in 10 single resident parents are female, meaning after divorce many children do not have daily contact with their Father. There is evidence to suggest that around a quarter of children never see a parent they don’t live with.
Just because a Father does not live with his children does not mean the relationship is not an important one. It is generally see as important that boys have a positive role model to look up to; a role that should be taken on by his Father. Whether or not this influence exists, as well as the nature of this influence, it can have an impact on a child’s behaviour as an adult.
There are potential negative impacts on a boy if his Father is not around, especially if there is no positive male influence in his life. As he doesn’t have a male role model he may not understand how he should behave. If in a female dominated household (possible with his Mother and Sisters) he may feel like he doesn’t have anyone to talk to about certain issues; that there is no-one who can understand his feelings. This can cause behavioural and other problems. It has been suggested that having no Father around can increase the chances of depression.
The issues for boys not having a Father figure may be more obvious, but it can also be important for girls. It can impact their relationships with men in the future. Not being in regular contact with a man means that a girl may not have the same understanding of female-male relationships as they might otherwise have.
Some studies have shown that the behaviour of boys is worse where there is no relationship with a Father. They are more likely to behave worse at school, more likely to turn to alcohol and drugs and more likely to commit a criminal offence. Of course, this doesn’t mean any child whose Father is not around will have these problems, but they are more common amongst Fatherless children than for children whose Father’s are in regular contact with them.
It is not just whether a Father is around that is important but the quality of the relationship and the specific influence he has. How much time they spend together is important; whether they have weekly contact or only see each other once in a blue moon. Children need someone to talk to about their problems so it is important that a Father is someone they can talk to, especially as there are issues that may require a male point of view.
If a Fathers influence is negative, on the other hand, then a relationship between Father and child is not necessarily a good thing. For example with a Son, negative behaviour from a Father may give them an idea of how to behave, but not the right way to behave. It may make certain unacceptable behaviour seem acceptable.
Children tend to want both of their parents involved in their lives. Some studies have reported that most children with separated parents think that the main negative influence of the breakup of their parents’ relationship is losing or having less contact with their Father. The vast majority want contact with their Father, this goes for both those who currently do have contact and those who do not.
How do step-Fathers come into this? Perhaps not surprisingly, evidence shows that relationships between step-Fathers and children are less close than between biological Fathers and their children. However in many cases it can grow into a positive relationship, they can become a positive role model. As with a biological Father, a relationship between a step-Father and children can influence their behaviour both negatively and positively.
Andrew Marshall (c)
Bross Bennet are Divorce Solicitors London.
Steel and Shamash are Family Law Solicitors.
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